The Movie ‘The Wife’ Personifies A Marriage With a Narcissist
Watching Glenn Close’s brilliant performance in the movie ‘The Wife’ took my breath away. Her meticulously raw and accurate portrayal of the excruciating pain that a marriage with a narcissist creates, had me spellbound. She displayed with perfect nuances, the endless, unwavering support a narcissist expects and demands in a relationship, while never returning any support to their partner. It’s a pure one-sided relationship, where they extract every last ounce of energy the partner contains.
You know what I’m talking about don’t you?
We can’t explain what it’s like to be married to narcissist, as we know our friends, family even strangers would think that we are either: –
- Simply crazy – which is what we become if we stay long enough.
The impossible and unreasonable demands the narcissist makes on our lives is never ending. It doesn’t matter if we have a high-powered, high paying career. Nothing can impede on the Narcissists life, as we all know, nobody’s career can be as important as the narcissist! We all learn this eventually, the hard way, by living with one.
I can recall having to be on a trading floor on a Monday morning @3am in the freezing London winter, and working until 8pm that night. Yet when there was an item missing from the pantry, it was my responsibility, as I was responsible for everything in the home including ensuring the house was perfectly clean at all times. The craziest part of this story, was our salaries were equal at the time, yet I allowed my husband’s career to be the main focus, as his needs always took precedence over mine. Actually, I didn’t have any needs.
I look back and want to slap that girl, as why did I do this? I know why I did this, to keep the peace, as I was desperately in love with my husband and would do anything to keep this relationship intact.
Why and How do we fall for a narcissist? I know now with years of therapy and the wonderful thing called ‘hindsight‘ that I fell for a narcissist, as I never felt ‘good enough.’ The love fest I was bombarded with, was like nothing I had ever imagined. It was like a drug that I could never have enough of.
You know what I’m talking about. Phase One ‘The Love bombing’ where we fall so hopelessly in love, as we are blinded by the affection we are being showered with. The narcissist eventually has us in the palm of their hands, an unknowing but willing participant in their bigger plan.
Then they show their true colours as they move into Phase Two – ‘The Devalue Stage.’ and the gradual slide of our life begins.
Why do they do this?
To have control of our lives!
The narcissists consistent and continual denigration of us, pushes our confidence lower and lower, until we don’t have any self-respect remaining. We are by this stage so malleable, we will do whatever they require from us, as we have lost our sense of who we are and most importantly, who we once were. This is how we accept more and more bad and immoral behaviour from the narcissist, to keep the relationship intact.
Phase Three is ‘The Discard Stage.’
I hope you don’t allow your relationship to get to this stage. I hope that you, like me wake up one day and realise you cannot accept another minute of this life. A life where all your energy is depleted, in your unending support of your narcissistic partner. Where the return you receive for this devotion, is a life of insurmountable pain, shame and unhappiness. A life of pure misery.
I hope you find your inner strength, to stand up and leave your abusive relationship. Yes, abusive, as you don’t have to be hit to be in an abusive relationship. Words linger in our minds for many years, whereas bruises heal far quicker.
Watching the movie ‘The Wife’ confirmed for me how fortunate I am to be free! Free from the darkness that permeates a life when we are in a relationship with a narcissist.
If you are in a quandary that you may be in a relationship with a narcissist, go and see the movie ‘The Wife’ and you will know immediately if this is you.
I hope your week ahead is filled with lots of love and laughter.
If you now know you have been in a relationship with a Narcissist, download my 5-Day-Guide-Begin Recovery From a Narcissistic Recovery Guide to guide you towards eradicating the narcissist’s voice in our head is not easy, but I am proof it can be done.