Amicable Divorce? Wouldn’t That Be Wonderful!
It Would simply be a dream!
When I read articles on celebrities who successfully ‘Uncouple,’ or ‘Happily Separate and Co-Parent with Respect and Ease.’ I don’t know about you, but I am going to be honest here, I am jealous as hell. I would have loved to have a Divorce like that, but unfortunately, I married a narcissist!
Recently I was approached by one of the largest media outlets in Australia, to write an article on ‘Mediation towards an Amicable Divorce.’ I had to decline this offer, as I know it is quite common, just not with my Divorce and most of my clients divorces with Narcissists. I suggested to write an additional section on – ‘High-Conflict Divorce, particularly Divorcing a Narcissist?’ An article on this subject, would benefit so many experiencing this painful experience, mostly silently.
My offer was firmly declined. It was clear, they wanted the clinical, rosy, sensible, adult-like Divorce story. Not the dirty, drawn-out, mud-slinging event a divorce with a narcissist can be. I was saddened, as we all desire an amicable divorce.
You can NOT have an Amicable Divorce with a Narcissist!
It’s simply not a possibility. So many decisions that should be straightforward, are exacerbated into issues bordering on insanity!
The smallest and most straight-forward requests are immediately opposed, stonewalled, or simply shut-down without any explanation that could maybe explain this craziness? You attempt to be amenable, giving many concessions, yet still your partner continues to change the goal-posts?
This Is because your ex’s is a Narcissist!
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Until you, your friends, family and legal team understand this absolute fact, your life will be interminably impossible. And forget trying to mediate, as this is not possible when one party will not negotiate on anything.
Definition of negotiation is
‘Discussion aimed at reaching an agreement.’
The above definition, explains why you can’t negotiate with a narcissist during Divorce, as they will not enter into a discussion, only bully and intimidate, as that’s what they are good at.
Narcissists during times of conflict, which is how they look upon Divorce, feel they are absolutely entitled to everything. They expect concessions, and when they receive them, they want more. No concession will ever be enough.
Please, make sure you hire an excellent lawyer, one who understands a narcissist? Then you need to gather every ounce of inner strength and courage you have, and stand up to your ex like you never have before. It’s difficult for many of us, as we have been the subservient partner to the narcissist. However, this time, you MUST stand up to them, as your ex will create lies and subterfuge in any way possible, to try and win.
The narcissists only goal in your divorce is to win at all costs. You must understand this, as they don’t for a millisecond contemplate the collateral damage they are inflicting on you and the children from your marriage. Nobody matters outside of the narcissist, as it is them against the world.
Please do as I advise, as my goal for you, is to be able to reflect back in 10 or 20 years from today and have no regrets. Remember, I have been you, walking your very lonely and difficult pathway. You must be strong and you can and will get through this difficult time, as I did.
Please ensure you download my FREE 5 Day Guide to Begin Recovery from a Narcissist today.
Have a beautiful week, as you so deserve.