Marriages Come and Go But Divorce Is Forever – Nora Ephron
As a Divorce Coach, I read an extensive variety of material on divorce and I must admit, I feel overwhelmed by the differing views on what one should and should not do during divorce!
As a divorce coach, my role is to guide my clients through their divorce, eliminating as much of the mental and financial strain as is humanly possible, to move them as expediently towards their new life
Where Do I Begin?
When friends, colleagues or clients, begin to navigate the unknown world of divorce and come to me for advice, I begin with what I feel to be the three pinnacles to achieving an empowering and successful Divorce: –
Hire the best and I mean ‘The Best Lawyer’ you possibly can find. This decision is an investment in your children’s and your future; so don’t attempt to cut financial corners, as that could be detrimental to your outcome and your future. It can be the biggest investment in your life you will ever undertake, as important as selecting a surgeon if you were diagnosed with a life-threatening illness.
In 20 years, when you reflect on your divorce, I want you to have one thing – ‘no regrets.’
Hire a Divorce Coach to work with you to rebuild your confidence to ensure it’s in peak condition. Your confidence is integral during a divorce, as you will be making difficult, life-changing decisions that will affect your children’s lives and yours, so you must be strong, confident and not waiver when you need to remain strong during difficult times.
The above points may appear as common sense to most of us. However, divorce and the changes that can occur during our divorces, can at times create imbalances in our thought processes that reverberate, rippling through all areas of our lives, eradicating any semblance of common sense. Our focus and judgments are blurred, which is a polite way of saying that Divorce can at times make us feel unhinged. Our logical thinking & sensible decision making, to be drowned in a whirlpool of emotional pain, making us unable to look beyond today, as everything else is simply too difficult. That’s why a coach is a necessity to keep you grounded, contained, and focused on the future, not looking back over your past with pity or reliving ‘what could have been.’
I have observed too many friends and clients making the same mistakes, in allowing emotions to replace sound, sensible decision making. I frequently listen to the same comment be repeated to me over and over, once they are through the divorce and have the time to think in hindsight, when the same two words too frequently appear, ‘if only.’ Please try not to fall into this overcrowded group, looking back with regret, take notice now and learn from me, as that’s my role.
If you are navigating the world of Divorce, please pop over to my website www.meganholgate.com to download my complimentary 22 page ‘Divorce Lessons’ I learned the hard way while divorcing my Investment Banker Husband, so you don’t have to.
These poignant two words ‘no regrets’ personifies what I work towards with hope for each and every one of my clients. This point is to encourage you to stop and think clearly about the actions and decisions you are making during your Divorce. The more informed you are in understanding your rights, regarding finances or custodial arrangements, the calmer and more empowered you will feel and become.
Remaining calm and in control is pivotal, to ensure that you make the most sound and logical decisions for your future and your children’s future, which is where your focus should be – ‘your future.’
Simply put your mantra is ‘I deserve this.’
Have a beautiful day.