Divorce is not the time to be Super Mum
One morning instead of arriving at my office, I arrived at the emergency ward by ambulance, in excruciating pain so sharp I fainted. My body was screaming at me to listen to it, but I wasn’t listening to anything except my inner dialogue screaming at me to keep going.
The cause of my collapse was a bleeding ulcer at 31. That was one giant wake-up call that was very overdue.
When I experienced my marriage breakdown, I looked upon this as a sign of failure. I then began to overcompensate in all other areas of my life, to attempt to obtain the impossible task of perfection. I was trying to become ‘Super Mum.’ My distorted thinking ended with my emergency visit, which thankfully gave me my ‘aha moment.’
Having 12 hours in emergency to reflect, I understood my marriage break-up was out of my control, and now in my past, but my life today and every day forward was in my hands. I realised that over the past 18 months, if I wasn’t working I was looking after my baby daughter, as my ex-husband lived overseas and was not available to help. If I wanted to live a long and healthy life, to be the healthiest version of me that I possible could, I had to change my life starting right now.
I began to schedule in self-care time for me, which was non-negotiable. I understood I had to do this to take care of my physical and mental well-being, which I had overlooked for too long. It was extremely difficult for me to do this, as my guilt of being away from my daughter was overwhelming. But having an unhealthy mother was of no benefit to my daughter, so I had to be selfish, and think of the long-term benefits to both our lives. I soon felt calmer and found life easier to cope with. Once I had more time I began to plan for our future and create the life I wanted to live.
If you are going through a tough time and struggling to find time for yourself, please try to your best, as your children will not benefit
from a stressed mum, as mine didn’t.
Have a beautiful day.