I was enjoying my fortnightly pedicure, when two women chatting next to me made the hair on my neck stand on end, and the reason I am posting this extract from a Chapter titled ‘Forgive’ from my E-Book, ‘Life After Betrayal.’
One woman announced very loudly that she was ‘Newly separated from her partner and was devastated to have to sell the family home.‘ The other more mature woman, stated numerous times, ‘I have been divorced for 18 years from my ex-husband and I still miss my home every day.’ The way she verbalised the words ‘Ex Husband,’ I was expecting a volley of spit to fly across the room, as the venom spilled from deep within her with such force. This woman was still in a world of pain from that relationship 18 years later! The younger woman, kept repeating her ‘Devastation on the loss of her house, her dream home.’ In nearly 30 minutes of listening to their complaining, the central and most devastating loss of both their marriage breakdowns was the loss of their houses!
I have lived through a very painful, unexpected and traumatic marriage break-up when my daughter was eight weeks old. We were living what I thought was a happy life, with financial abundance as Expatriate’s, both working in the corporate world in Hong Kong. I know I would have thrown every dollar and possession I owned into the South China Sea where our stunning home overlooked, if there was a single hope of saving my marriage. I wouldn’t have cared where I lived, if it meant my daughter could have two parents living under the same roof, to protect and love her and each other every day. The thought of my house did not cross my mind.
Walking out of the beautician, I walked through my anger and rage and eventually found pity for these sad women, who are yet to understand the gift of forgiveness. His Excellency Nelson Mandela on his release from 27 years in a South African Prison, 18 of those on Robben Island, chose to forgive his oppressors and choose peace, rather than a vengeful bloodbath, which he easily could have. What a beautiful human being.
So you might be thinking, WHY should I FORGIVE?
I can only speak from my heartfelt journey, that understanding forgiveness was my pathway towards healing the heartbreaking pain of betrayal.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross states ‘The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitive and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.’
To forgive will set you free to grow & no longer be the victim.
Have a beautiful weekend xxx